“I would not tell you not to make scrambled eggs for a child but will advise that you also show them how it’s done” 

Kids and chores

It does not seem right to some parents to have their kids do chores at a young age. I have heard statements like “they are still young, they have many more years to learn all that” or “do not trouble the child, he is still a baby.” Yes, they are kids and should enjoy that stage to the fullness, but can they do so while also having a few responsibilities in their care? Yes, they can, and it is advisable that they do. It is beneficial to both the parent and the child.

If I could read your mind, I would conclude that you would not mind your chores done for you. I strongly feel the same; from cleaning to washing to running errands, I would love to escape those responsibilities, but it is important that they are done, and so, I am more grateful that I can do them, thankful that I was taught, and I hope it is safe to say you feel same. 

Growing up, I was always eager to be given opportunities to try new things, mainly things I see being done often, like chores; chores such as cutting the grass, fetching buckets of water, washing dishes, and, my best chore, cooking. I was always on the go, “May I do that? I can do it!” or continuously singing, “I can do it, I can do it…” until my parents gave in or I got scolded. The first time I did any particular chore was a big deal; I felt like I was taking a significant step. It signified that I was growing and valuable. I was a growing kid interested in trying everything, so my parents seized that opportunity. And that opportunity makes me capable of doing everything I know now. The skills I learned growing up have shaped me in no small way. I am more equipped to take on life challenges.

It is just like schooling. This is a part of life that also has to be learned. You wouldn't want your child’s education to be delayed with the excuse that they are too young. Same with chores. There is no reason not to begin as soon as they can. So I advise parents to seize the opportunity of their child’s desire to try new things and the need to be involved.

Why are chores necessary for your growing child?

It is advisable to include chores in a child's curriculum. It instills a sense of responsibility; they should begin learning at a young age.

• Chores help kids learn responsibility and self-reliance. 

Responsibility and self-reliance might sound like a big step for a child, but they grow into it through little actions. One little step is doing their chores.

It’s important that we teach them from a young age that duties are expected of them so that they do not become alien to them as they grow—teaching and allowing them to clean up after themselves teaches responsibility and makes them understand that they are responsible for their own and the family's growth.

• It builds self-esteem and competence.

Wendy Mogul- “Helping out at home raises self-esteem. When parents insist that kids do their chores, they are letting them know they are not just loved, but also needed.”

Being trusted with a task holds a sense of importance. Dami, my younger brother, spends the entire day talking about it after being allowed to help around the house. The best part is when he gets a compliment after everything, it just makes all his efforts worth more than he expected. It makes him feel needed and capable, compared to when we disapprove, instead, reply with, “Dami, you can’t; you won’t do it right.” Then he goes, “I can do it. I see how you are doing it. Try me! Try me!” This tells that they are eager to do what you don’t find them capable of doing. Try them. When they make a mess, clean it up, and let them keep trying till they get it right. Also, taking a chance gives them the courage to try risks. They can confidently offer to take up a task that needs assistance.

• It teaches teamwork. 

They learn and appreciate the power of teamwork this way. Apportioning tasks communicates that all hands must be on deck to complete the task. When preparing dinner, for instance, giving your child the responsibility to set the table sounds like, “we are in this together. If you do not set the table, we cannot have dinner even though the meal is cooked; so you have to do your part, and I do mine” These are things you communicate, even in words to them, making them see reasons why they do and should do their chores.

• It helps in family bonding.

Doing chores with your kids gives the family more bonding time. One of the best times my family and I spend together is when we do tasks together during the weekend. It makes chores fun, and we take it as an opportunity to share things that happened during the week. You want to add a plus to your bonding time with your kids, have a household routine with them-do chores; and it is best to start the habit as early as possible.

 At what age?

There is no age to this, but as early as they can comfortably move about with their legs. If they can pick up their toys and dump them on the floor, they should also be able to pick them off the floor and back to their crate.

How do you get your kids involved in chores?

Start by teaching them. 

Even if they are not of age, they can learn by watching you do them. This implies that you must be aware of what you would assign to them. One reason they may be eager to do it is that they have seen you do it.

Go for Age-appropriate chores. 

Choose appropriate household chores that suit the child’s age and abilities. For toddlers and preschoolers, which are our main focus here, as getting them involved early matters a lot, the following are the chores they should be able to help with:

Toddlers (2-3 years) should be taught to;

• eat by themselves and take their dishes to the kitchen sink

• pick up their toys and place them in their toy box,

• pick up trash and place it in a garbage can,

• gather clothing and put it in a laundry basket,

• put away plastic or break-resistant dishes in a low drawer or shelf.

Preschoolers (3-5 years) should be taught to;

• make their bed,

• pick up after themselves when playing with toys and puzzles or when doing art projects,

• sweep the floor using a child-sized broom.

• dust or wipe down low surfaces with a safe cleaner.

• help out in the garden

• set the table before meals and clear the table after meals,

• assisting with making meals,

• put away groceries, with assistance as needed.

• assisting with laundry, 

• assisting with dishes.
  

As your child ages, the chores you assign them should mirror their interests and abilities.

Praise and Encouragement

Most people, if not all, enjoy being told how well they are doing. Give your kids feedback. Praise them for their efforts and correct what needs to be corrected. Allow them to feel they made an impact around the house. Not reprimand; feedback (praises and corrections). You want to encourage them rather than discourage them.

Know your children's strength and weaknesses

My immediate younger brother Tobi will give in to any chore except washing the dishes. Something about it disgusts him, but I find doing the dishes one of the easiest. So, he would have been left grumbling and hiding away if we kept assigning the plates to him; instead, he was given the responsibility for the outdoor duties (sweeping the outside compound, clearing out the garden, or cleaning the gutters), which he finds acceptable. While you frequently assign them their strengths, you chip in their weaknesses also. Once in a while, we tell Tobi to wash plates (if not all, but at least his own).

So, be considerate of your kids. I know they are kids and should be able to do whatever you dictate to them, but you will get more productivity if you are considerate of them through your decisions. Plus, you can’t tell where their strengths and weaknesses lie if you do not start them up with it.

Do not use chores as punishment.

Parents tend to use chores as punishment, which I find wrong. Punishment, in my understanding, is an activity that is not favorable or fun, so giving chores as punishments communicate that doing chores is a strenuous thing and should be avoided. Find other means to punish your kids.

Conclusion:

Training your children to do chores does not mean they will always love doing it; instead, it gives them the knowledge and builds capacity for when they have their own. With the best strategies, chores can be as fun as video games or sleepovers.

Teaching and permitting your children to do chores around the house can be a difficult task, but so is everything about raising a child. You may be left with damp clothes, floured faces, dirt all over, or disorganized equipment, but it will all be worth it because of the value you are instilling in them. So take a chance on them and watch your efforts pay off.

I will leave you with an Ann Landers quote, which I hope will enlighten you more on why training your kids with chores is vital. She said, "It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do themselves that will make them successful human beings.”

"It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do themselves that will make them successful human beings.”

What are your strategies for getting your kids involved in chores? Do share.