It is one feeling to have your kids say a bad word, especially for the first time, and another to have them say it as their first word. If you have ever experienced it, you will know it is startling as is funny.

For some beautiful reason, a child’s first of everything is as beautiful as the day they came into existence.

Their first words are so significant to both parents that it becomes a competition at times. Dad wants to hear “Dada,” and mum wants to hear “Mama”, so they turn those words into anthems in the house. Husbands call their wives mama, and wives call husbands dada, just so the child catches up real quick. As humorous as that is, it tells that a child’s first word is a big deal, even if it is the pet's name. The excitement when those words are said is thrilling for all parties, not minding which was said first.

So, let’s imagine, just imagine that their first word was a foul or curse word. How would that make you feel? If you are thrilled by that, then something is wrong, right! Having been a first child, I happened to be in this situation, sharing this moment with my parent when my sister, Victoria, was born. Everyone wanted her to say their name first. I remember I and my brother arguing about whose name she would say first. He took it a task to call his name into her ears as much as he could (hahaha). The time we were waiting, debating, and fighting for came, and the words came out, leaving us shocked and pointing fingers. My brother and I did not take responsibility, not accepting that she heard it from any one of us, and my mum could not scold us either because she had said the word to us several times. Only my father had the clarity of mind to scold us, but he couldn't because he concluded he was in the wrong as well; "he should have corrected us earlier," he concluded.

What was Victoria’s first word?

“Stupid!” Yeah! Stupid! It was a great laugh with my family after some time, and we still talk and laugh about it, but isn’t a funny situation; maybe that is why her tongue is sharpest when it comes to cursing (hahaha, kidding). Still, we need to be careful about the words we speak. Babies hear all, and hear loud and clear, same with their eyes, though small, but sharp enough to see all you do in their presence.

How do we curb this?

You can’t shut the words off the lips of everyone, but you can certainly be more effective in your sample of people (Your partner, your family, friends, and every other people) in the company of your children.

First and foremost, begin with yourself. Are you a swift shotgunner? You proceed without thinking, cursing out your displeasures; the words are like music to you, and you say them even when you don't mean to. For the sake of the generation you are raising, now is the moment to start restraining your tongue and controlling your words.

• Learn to not express your anger immediately . Take a deep breath, and think before responding because anger is the lure into the den of curses. Due to Adrienne, a speech therapist, it is known to be that kids tend to imitate faster, things that they hear that are loud, high pitched and used in the moment of intensity or stress https://youtu.be/Rcb9tnOXrMU. This helped me understand why, of all the things we've said in her company, Victoria would choose to say the word “Stupid”; the word was used often when I and my brother engaged in heated arguments, or when my mum scolded us angrily.
  

• Replace your words with the next sane thing that comes to mind at that moment.  I came up with the primary catchphrases I use now as a quick replacement for a curse word that I couldn't say. When things went bad, you'd hear me say things like "Oh my days" instead of "what the f**k," "don't be foolish" or "you are wicked" instead of "crazy" or "dumb," "you are out of tune" instead of "you are out of your mind," and my favorite, "Sugar! Sugar" when things go wrong. It all boils down to being aware of your words and steaming off flame before reacting to situations.
  

• Censor the movies and music you view and listen to in front of or near your children's ears. One scene from the film is enough to imprint the words in their minds, till it bursts out from their lips.
  

You going through the exercise means your partner is too, including your family and friends. Make it clear to them what you would tolerate in the company of your kids. If they want to visit them, they must do so on your terms, which include not using or making disrespectful comments. Everyone else in the home is in the same boat (the other labor workers-gardener or nanny, or cook).

Also, keep in mind that there's a good chance they will pick after your substitute words, so you might want to pick more childish words. When the fox "Sniper" in the cartoon "Dora the Explorer" is upset, he exclaims, "Oh mehn!" The reason for using a juvenile alternative is to avoid queries like "Mum, why do you say 'Sugar' when you make a mistake or are angry?" Is it a bad word?" or "Dad, you say 'oh my pancakes' when the tires run flat or when you lose a game; are pancakes bad? If so, why do we eat them?" You might end up not using sugar or serving pancakes unless you have a better excuse.

If your kids already use bad/curse words, I would advise the best way to curb it would be to educate them on what bad words are and why it is wrong to use them. Kids do not know bad words are bad until when they say them and get negative reactions regarding them. You also cannot control what is happening all around, especially at social gatherings, but you can still control how they access what they hear by giving them proper education on it. This point also includes the Mcclure method, which I find helpful, and that would be to tell them the curse words they should not say the instance they get knowledgeable about one https://youtu.be/UYd-Dxzpp0w. So, educate them, and list the bad words they are not allowed to say.

Curbing negative words not only prevents your child from learning to use them, but it also prevents you from using them on your children, particularly when they are wrong. This helps kids develop a strong sense of self-worth and prepares their minds to fight any curse words spewed at them by strangers. When a child is being called stupid in his home, and someone else does outside, it creates a discussion in their minds and makes the judges in their mind conclude that it is true- “Daddy says I am stupid, now Paul says the same, it must be true”. But in a case where those words are prohibited, or replaced with praises and encouragements, it is easier to fight it. They would not need to fight a mental case because they defend it instantly or are confident to report the case to an adult at sight. They are sure it isn't who they are because mum says I am smart, and dad says I am confident.

It has great adverse effects on the life of a child. We cannot curb it completely as people would always say, either in the environment or at school, but it helps to know that the one place they won't hear it (meaning the one place they are most valued) is their home; and better, that they would not say it to others. 

How is it going with Victoria?

She is older now: Though her tongue is sharpest when it comes to cursing, still, we scold her, and she corrects it. Do not think it is too early or late. No matter the phase you are with your children, start helping them be more welcoming with their words. Even if you could not help them as kids, you can still help when grown, as they will be or are already parents, to help their children.